Where have my babies gone???

Ok, this is kind of a whinny post - just a warning.

Yesterday I took Ty to his first non-family kid's birthday party where I just dropped him off and left until pick up time. For some reason as I drove away from the party I was REALLY sad. I know, I know - I'm being silly. But, it really hit me that my baby is growing up. First it's not needing mom at birthday parties, pretty soon it's school, then driving, then college - the list goes on and on.

Yes, I know that I am getting ahead of myself, but man do they have to grow up so fast?? As silly as it sounds there are some times where I would give anything for a crying infant in the middle of the night again that needed me for a snuggle in the rocking chair.

You would think that I would be used to this separation by now considering I have already been through it with both Nick and Eric, but it's still hard. And knowing that my final baby is growing up makes it worse.

Don't get me wrong, I love that my kids aren't in diapers and counting on me for 100% of their needs anymore but at the same time I really miss being the #1 thing in their lives.

It's funny though that even though they are growing away from me in steps it's seems like with each step away they do turn back for comfort a little more. Kind of the 1 step forward 2 steps back analogy. Even Nick who seems like Mr. Independent never and I mean never (even with his friends around) leaves me without a kiss, a hug and an I love you mom. Many times I get these things multiple times before he finally leaves. Even though Eric does not always like public displays of affection he still always snuggles every night before bed and loves to write notes to me that I find in the oddest places.

I suppose even when they are grown with families of their own they will still always be my babies.

Motherhood is hard - it is to decide forever to have a piece of your heart walk around outside of your body.