You Know You're A Minnesota Hockey Mom When...

• You count the days until the temperature hits 32 degrees so you can flood your backyard to create your very own rink
• You paint blue lines in your backyard
• You think the Excel Energy Center is the Taj Mahal of hockey
• You think the Battle Hymn of the Republic was written specifically for Gopher home series sweeps
• Your kids grow up wanting to wear the "M"
• Your kids have destroyed your basement/garage/doors/windows with all those hours of indoor/outdoor hockey at home
• You spend more hours in hockey rinks than you do in your own home
• You cheer a lengthy cycling of the puck
• You cheer a successful penalty kill
• You sarcastically cheer when a ref you swear is out to get your team finally calls a penalty in your team's favor
• You discipline your kids with "minors," "majors" and "misconducts."
• You know where the U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame resides
• You know where the world's largest hockey stick resides
• You refuse to say "shutout" until the final horn goes off
• You throw your hat onto the ice after a player on your favorite team scores his/her third goal
• You think there are three periods in basketball
• You may dislike Norm Coleman for a lot of things, but you'll always love him for bringing the NHL back to Minnesota
• You teach your kids the signals for all penalties before you teach them the alphabet
• You use a puck as a paperweight
• You don't even notice the smell of a hockey locker room anymore
• You keep your skates and stick in your car...just in case
• You enjoy the "Mighty Ducks" movies and beem with pride when you recognize locations on the screen
• You can point out all the inaccuracies of the otherwise excellent movie "Miracle"
• Your kids grow their hair so it comes out the sides of their helmet
• You fit your kids for skates the moment they start walking
• You think hockey homework is just as important as school homework
• You consider the state high school tournament days as holidays
• You know the name of the person who sharpens your kids skates
• Your kids play hockey year round
• You take the parents vs. kids games really seriously
• You scout your town's Squirts to see what your high school team will be like in five years or so
• You have searched piles of snow for an errant puck at your local outdoor rink
• You think there's no temperature too cold to lay hockey outside
• Your kids consider the Hanson Brothers major celebrities
• You can instinctively drive to any town's hockey arena
• You specifically shop for boots that can withstand the temperature at the coldest ice arena in the state
• You think the Zamboni is mankind's greatest invention
• You can walk or job on a freshly resurfaced sheet of ice without losing balance at all
• You bought a minivan or SUV for the sole reason that it can hold all your kids' hockey equipment
• You know the arena in the state that serves the best hot chocolate
• You don't find it the least bit ironic that your favorite sport when it's cold outside is played where it's cold inside.